A major announcement in Vatican City as Pope Francis insists that Catholic priests around the world are not about to be out-molested by some goddamned Boy Scouts.

Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA

Listen to The Topical: https://link.chtbl.com/thetopical
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/